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A form of abuse

Forced marriage and honour-based violence

Forced marriage is a marriage in which one or both people do not consent to the union, and pressure or abuse is used to make them agree or go through with it. Honour-based violence is violence or abuse committed to protect or restore what a family or community sees as its honour or reputation. Both are about control, and both are illegal in many jurisdictions.

Why this matters

What survivors already know

There is an important difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage. In an arranged marriage, both people freely choose whether to go ahead. In a forced marriage, that choice is removed by threats, emotional pressure, physical violence, imprisonment, or the removal of documents.

Honour-based violence is not limited to any one culture or religion. It can happen when a person is seen to have brought shame by their choice of partner, their clothing, their sexuality, their independence, their refusal to marry, or their decision to leave a marriage.

These forms of abuse often sit inside wider family violence. A young person may be controlled by parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins, all of whom believe they are protecting the family. The person at risk may love their family deeply, which is why leaving can feel like betrayal and why secrecy is common.

The definition

What it actually is

Arranged marriage is not forced marriage

In an arranged marriage, both parties have the right to refuse and the right to withdraw at any stage. Pressure removes that right and turns arrangement into force.

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Honour-based violence

Violence, threats, imprisonment, or coercive control justified by the perceived need to protect family or community honour. It can include forced marriage, FGM, physical violence, and murder.

Honour-Based Violence Network

How it works

The tactics, named one by one

Emotional pressure and guilt

Parents or relatives may say they are sick, that the marriage will save the family reputation, or that the young person owes obedience. The pressure is framed as love and duty.

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Physical violence and imprisonment

Some people are locked in rooms, beaten, or taken abroad without their consent. Passports are taken, and they are told they cannot leave until the marriage is complete.

Honour-Based Violence Network

How to identify it

Signs to look for

One of these on its own may mean nothing. Several of them together, repeated over time, is a pattern, and a pattern is what abuse looks like from the inside.

  • 01A person is told they are going abroad for a family holiday, education, or illness, and there are rumours of a wedding.
  • 02They become anxious, withdrawn, or depressed around family events or visits to the family's home country.
  • 03They are not allowed to make decisions about their own education, career, friendships, or relationships.
  • 04They express fear of a particular relative or of being taken out of the country.
  • 05Their phone, passport, or documents are held by family members.
  • 06They have been told they will bring shame on the family if they refuse to marry.
  • 07They are suddenly removed from school or work, or their engagement is announced without their knowledge.
  • 08They are watched closely by siblings or cousins, or have limited privacy.

Who it happens to

No one group is exempt

Abuse does not respect age, gender, income, faith, or country. These are the people most often affected by this particular form.

  • Young people aged 16 to 25 are at highest risk, but adults and children of any age can be forced into marriage.

  • People from families with strong cultural or religious expectations about marriage, gender roles, and family reputation.

  • People who are LGBTQ+, who have a disability, or who have been sexually active outside an approved relationship may face heightened risk.

  • Siblings, cousins, and others in the same family may also be at risk if one person refuses, because the family may turn pressure on them.

What it costs

The damage it leaves behind

Sexual and reproductive coercion

Forced marriage often includes forced sexual activity, pressure to become pregnant, and denial of contraception or reproductive choice.

UN Women, Facts and figures

Mental health and isolation

Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and a profound sense of betrayal by family are common. The isolation from friends and community deepens the harm.

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Physical danger

Honour-based violence can escalate to serious injury or death. In the UK, cases of so-called honour killing have been prosecuted and reviewed by police and safeguarding bodies.

Honour-Based Violence Network

How to deal with it

What to do, depending on where you are standing

If it is happening to you

  1. 01

    If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number. Do not try to negotiate alone if violence is happening.

  2. 02

    If you are in the U.S., contact the Tahirih Justice Center or the National Network to End Forced Marriage for confidential advice and legal help.

  3. 03

    Keep your passport, identification, phone, and some money in a safe place that family cannot access. Make copies and leave them with a trusted person.

  4. 04

    Do not travel abroad if you suspect a forced marriage is planned. Once you are in the family's country of origin, options are harder and legal protections may be limited.

  5. 05

    Tell a trusted teacher, doctor, counsellor, faith leader, or friend. You do not have to tell your family you are seeking help.

  6. 06

    Remember that forced marriage is illegal in many countries, including the United States, and there are protections for victims.

If someone you care about is in it

  1. 01

    Take it seriously. A young person may laugh it off or minimise it because they are afraid of betraying their family.

  2. 02

    Ask directly and privately. Are you worried about being forced to marry? Do you feel safe to go on this trip? gives them permission to speak.

  3. 03

    Do not contact the family yourself. That can escalate danger and cut off the person's chance to get help safely.

  4. 04

    Help them keep documents safe. Passport, birth certificate, phone, and some cash are critical.

  5. 05

    Refer to specialists. Forced marriage and honour-based violence require culturally informed legal and safety planning. Call the Tahirih Justice Center or a local domestic violence advocate.

Where to get help

People who will take this seriously

If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number first. Everything below is confidential and none of it requires you to make a decision today.

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karmanirvana.org.uk · UK helpline for honour-based abuse

Specialist support for people experiencing forced marriage and honour-based abuse in the UK.

Questions

The questions people actually ask

Is forced marriage illegal in the United States?

Yes. Forced marriage is a crime in several U.S. states and can also be prosecuted under federal laws related to kidnapping, fraud, and coercion. The Tahirih Justice Center tracks state laws and can advise you.

What is the difference between arranged and forced marriage?

Consent. In an arranged marriage, both people have the right to say no and to change their mind at any stage. In a forced marriage, pressure, threats, or violence remove that choice.

Can honour-based violence happen to men?

Yes. Men and boys can be forced into marriage, controlled, or harmed for relationships, identities, or choices their family rejects. The pressure is often framed differently but is still abusive.

What if I am already abroad and being forced to marry?

Contact the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate. They can help with emergency travel documents, shelter, and connections to local support. Call the State Department's overseas emergency line at 1-888-407-4747 from the U.S. or Canada, or +1-202-501-4444 from other countries.

Nobody should have to choose between their family and their freedom. Forced marriage and honour-based violence are real, they are illegal, and there are people who will help without judgement.

Nopa Foundation

Nopa Foundation works to end domestic abuse in all its forms, for women, men, elders and children. We listen, we walk alongside survivors, and we build the partnerships that change what happens next.

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Nopa Foundation provides peer support, advocacy, safety planning and referral for people affected by domestic abuse. Our services are not licensed psychological counseling, medical therapy, or professional legal, financial, or medical advice, and we do not provide emergency response. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential 24 hour support in the United States, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline on 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. If you require clinical or mental health support, please seek assistance from a licensed professional.

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