Who is affected
Children in the house
Adults often believe the children did not see it. The research, and the children themselves, say otherwise.
By Nopa Foundation Editorial Team · April 7, 2026 · 5 min read
Almost every parent who talks to us says a version of the same thing. They were asleep. They were in the other room. They do not know.
Children in violent households almost always know. Ask them years later and they can describe the sound of a car pulling into the drive, the particular quality of silence before an argument, which floorboard to avoid on the way to a sibling's room. They were not sleeping. They were listening.
Exposure to domestic violence is recognised as an adverse childhood experience, and the research on adverse childhood experiences is among the most consistent in public health. Higher exposure is associated with worse outcomes across mental health, physical health, education and adult relationships. The World Health Organization estimates that more than a billion children aged two to seventeen experienced violence or neglect in the past year worldwide.
None of that means a child who has lived through this is damaged beyond repair. That framing is both cruel and wrong. What the evidence actually shows is that the presence of one stable, trustworthy adult is strongly protective. Not a perfect adult. A consistent one.
Which puts a good deal of power in the hands of an aunt, a teacher, a coach or an usher who decides to keep showing up.
Practical things that help, in our experience and in the guidance from child protection specialists. Name it simply and without detail. It is not your fault, and it is not your job to fix. Keep routines intact wherever possible, because predictability is what a child in chaos is short of. Do not ask a child to carry information secretly or to report on a parent. Do not speak about either parent with contempt in front of them, however deserved it may feel.
And watch for the child who is doing extremely well. Some children respond by becoming faultless, managing the household, parenting siblings, achieving at school. They are frequently missed, because nobody worries about the capable one.
If you believe a child is being harmed or neglected in Texas, call 1-800-252-5400. If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.